You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
