He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
