the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
sex in a hospital.. check
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
