I didn't shave. On purpose
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
