True but thats because hes a fetus.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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