I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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