Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I need a burrito and a hug.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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