So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
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