New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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