before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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