There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
