I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
we're so committed to being not committed
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
