apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
