This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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