Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
