Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
