His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
That was before I lit my hair on fire
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
