if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
