Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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