It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
