Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Blood and glitter go together right?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
