Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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