you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
