My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
