so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
