bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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