my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I wish you could order shots online.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
