somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
