I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize