He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
