Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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