I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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