i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
