I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
