you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
