Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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