I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
