yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
