I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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