are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
