Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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