He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
