Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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