did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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