I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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