i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
