I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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