i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize
