i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
