Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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