i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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