you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Boobs are out for the taking
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
