I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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