The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
