I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
