Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
