Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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