Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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