Kiss
Puke
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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