Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
