make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
