Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
So many bounce houses so little time
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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